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Saturday, March 26, 2011


My husband and I got accepted to study abroad in Japan at JCMU next semester. Now we have to scramble to get the post-acceptance paperwork done and in by Wednesday. So, no pressure there...

I hate my depression. Every time someone gets upset with me I automatically assume it's my fault and that I'm a bad person. I don't people when they get mad at me, I hate myself. I hate myself for making them angry and feel sorry that they have the misfortune to know me. My husband says that thinking that way is bull, that I'm a wonderful person. However, to me it appears that after living 24+ years, and all the times people have gotten upset at me, that I am the only common denominator. The one thing all these people have in common is knowing me, so how am I not to blame? Maybe I just attract these kinds of people towards me. But in all honesty I fear that I make them that way. I don't mean to, it's just that I'm some sort of cancer when it comes to making people miserable.

Oh well, thank God I have my husband and my Zoloft.

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